I must lament.

My stupid ex guy friend Jeff refuses to talk to me, after our near-brush at a relationship. We got up to the level of hugging! How lame. Of course our couple-ness was never officialized, despite the fact that he talked of it all the time, like with the contact in my phone, "Jeff: Your Future Boyfriend". Like, come on.

I don't know.

I know that I need a new guy in my life. Well, not need. But eventually I will require a man that will restore my faith in mankind, since currently that faith is being tested to its very limits.

Also I miss make-out sessions.

Sighness to the fact that only one blog after Jamie's I describe my deep and abiding love for Graham.

JESUS CHRIST.

I've just been feeling a lot of pent-up emotion I can't place. Loneliness? Rage? Restlessness? Perhaps all the ones I just mentioned?

What a summer.

Don't get me wrong, it's been a good summer. I've been swimming a lot, reading a ton, catching up on TV (Pretty Little Liars, SURPRISINGLY good!). I've been keeping a journal, to organize my THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS that just blare in my head constantly and keep me up at night.

I miss Graham, but won't admit it.
I miss Jeff, but won't admit it.
If I didn't break up with Graham I would have eventually.
Right?
Right?
Yeah.
Did I mess up the Jeff thing?
No, he's an asshole.
Yes, I'm totally lame.
Run through various scenarios. A LOT of scenarios. Memories. Embarrassing memories that make me cringe.
Reassure myself that I'll find someone when I'm not desperate to find someone. When I live my life, love will come along and find its way.

But it's difficult sometimes. Which is why I medicate with "Sex and the City". Definitely helping.