:) I know I spend every blog talking about Graham. And I apologize for that.

I've broken rules to be with him.

My parents say that Graham can't go upstairs when they're here, and obviously he can't come over if they're not.

He has. We've made out in my bed. And done...other things. And on Wednesday, this is just a maybe, we might both skip school and spend the day together.

Oh, it's not like we're going to be doing anything in school anyway!!!!!!!

Wednesday is Senior Skip Day and Claudia, Graham's older sister, is a senior. Since she drives Graham to school every morning he figured what the hell why not just skip too? So he figured I could pretend to be sick (my parents usually let me have sick days, I haven't been sick from school all year and I'm 1st in my class right now so I figure they'll just allow me to stay home and chill) and come over after they left. I know guys. I'm careful, I mean, I'm not like Sarah...

The pregnant sophomore.

It's been confirmed. She was talking about it in World Studies, according to sources. The father is known, his name's Scott, but they're not together anymore. It's kind of a messy situation. They dated for like 2 months, if that much. Apparently he didn't use protection, well, obviously. Then a little while after that he left her for Cindy, a girl in my grade who's got a reputation for fancying the older men of our school, she's dated seniors and such before. According to her Facebook they are completely in love and she wants to marry him despite it being only 2 weeks. Plus, Sarah is planning to keep Scott's baby, so we seem to have an Amy situation on our hands.

Personally, I wouldn't keep it if I were in her situation. She's not the smartest of people, but she's not an idiot, at least I don't think so. I know her sort of, she was on Middle School Math Team when I was in 7th and she was in 8th. Here, everyone knows everyone anyway. She hangs out with Tawny, the school slut (who is overweight, but puts out to make up for it), and those types.

Yeah. It's pretty intense. There have been speculations that another sophomore, Emily, is pregnant by her senior boyfriend Dylan, who looks like a pirate, frankly, with his long black hair and goatee mustache thingie as well as his hippie clothes. Emily's one of the good ones, she's in my chorus and study hall. There's no real proof of this one, she just has put on a lot of weight, mostly getting wider shoulders and stuff, and wears those dresses that hide the bump. And she's denied it, so maybe she's getting rid of it if she has it, but if she was, I fear for Dylan's life because her dad is a police chief of a neighboring town, and also one of my mom's ex-boyfriend's, interestingly enough. Dylan's actually Emily's brother Ben's best friend, which many have always thought weird.

School drama! The sophomores are actually a pretty good class, believe it or not. It's just the few glaring people. Sophomores with seniors, though that'll be me if I stay with Graham then, doesn't seem to work out. Also using protection works, folks! Birth control is yucky, but condoms work fine! And that spermicide stuff!

Strange. I mean, I bet a lot of couples are Doing It, but clearly they have the sense to prevent babies!! Like Paul and Bekah, they've been going out for a year or so, and are in complete what seems like married bliss. They're both juniors though, so maybe that helps...

Graham and I are both supposed to be in the same grade though! He's supposed to be in 10th grade but he skipped kindergarten, and I'm supposed to be in 10th but my parents didn't think I was ready for kindergarten and made me go to preschool again.

So there.

Darn pregnant teens!

I'm cold, Nordic practice was so tough today. We had to do these huge laps around the course and it was all ice. Scary. I didn't fall at all, which was weird, but I kept like, being on one ski and almost falling.

- Jerrica

I fail at blogging.

Hello good people of the world!

Or just Jamie, Emma, and Mozalie. Same difference. Good book by Siobhan Vivian. Highly recommended.

We've probably all seen New Moon. I got slightly hot when Jacob took his shirt off and showed off his like, EIGHT pack. It's a little abnormal but HOT. Graham is trying to get a six pack. That would be wicked sexy, at least in my humble opinion.

OH MY GOD HOUSE IN FIFTEEN I GOTTA DO THIS QUICK.

We said it.

I love you.

Let me set up the scene for ya, dearies:

We were sitting on his couch in his cozy apartment, watching "Atonement". The movie had only just begun maybe twenty minutes ago, and we had finally been left alone. His sister had logged off the computer, his mom was done sending emails. Finally alone.

Of course, when you leave lusty teenagers alone, things tend to happen. Like Graham wrapping his arms around me and sealing our lips in a tender but feverish lip-lock, with gentle occasional tongue. I folded my legs on the couch and leaned into him, my hands in his golden orange hair. His arms pulled me closer, our world dark and loving, as it always is when we have the time to construct it.

"I love you," he told me when we had broken apart, staring at each other, seeing ourselves in our eyes (pants).

I kissed him again. My mouth still on his, I whispered, "Really?"

We broke apart. "Really, babe," Graham said, his hand lightly on my curly dark hair.

I paused. My heart was flying, my insides were absent. "I love you too," I promised.

It was amazing.

I love it when he calls me babe. It's lightly possessive, and I love how he says it.

So! I've had a good amount of days. Times have really been good. I'm crazy tired and sore from Nordic all the time, and it's Project Season at school, but as long as he's around I feel like none of that bothers me. I still care a lot about school, but bad grades don't bother me as much, in the off chance that I get them. My head feels more level, my feet feel more on the ground. This time last year I was suffering, I was lonely. I'm not saying that I need Graham, but he sure makes everything a hell of a lot better.

Emma- I'm not going to lie, I was horrified when I read that story about Larry. What. The. Hell. What a creeper. Seriously. ADD or not, that's just, gawsh.

Let's see, what to talk about.

New Moon was kinda boring, not gonna lie. I mean, the action parts were good, but for the most part it dragged. And I found myself eating Sweet & Sour Twizzlers (THEY ARE LIKE CRACK!!), sipping my LifeWater (that I snuck in, hehehe) unbelievably bored except for the scenes where Jacob had his shirt off. Because you HAVE to admit, he is ripped. I wouldn't leave Graham for him but I would pay a little to touch those muscles of his.

I submitted a short story that I wrote to a contest! I think it's pretty good, it's called "A Trusting Presence" and it's about a girl named Fiona who learns to open up again after being assaulted by someone she thought she loved with all her heart. It's not really as serious as it sounds. It's written in kind of the same, sarcastic, biting humor as Amber, but less so.

Speaking of, I've been looking through this book my mom got me looking at agents. It's not that serious yet, I need to buy some post-its or something to bookmark agents that will cater to me, there's a surprising amount in that book who refuse YA. I guess there's a lot of bad YA writers out there. The thing is, I've been so fricking busy lately with everything that I just get home, do my homework, practice piano, go on the computer for a little bit, watch the show of the night (GLEE IS BEING REPLACED BY LOST FOR FOUR MONTHS OH MY GOD SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE), then maybe texting or phone calling with Graham or a desperate attempt to catch up with reading, then a coma-like six to seven hour sleep. Repeat. I'm actually very surprised that it's December tomorrow. November just barely started!!

I am wicked tired and sore all the time, but I'm in love and he loves me back, and I feel complete even if it's completely wiped out. :)

Right now, I am eating frosting-free Poptarts (Gelatin-free beyotches). I've been watching CommunityChannel for about two hours along with 5AG, WrockingGirl, Vlogbrothers, Frezned, PHVlogger (forgive me, this is probably not a legit username. I am tired.), and HayleyGHoover.

I am such a loser.

School has been going well. I made a fool out of myself in English because my teacher said, "I'm a bit of a fair-weather fan" and being who I am, I thought she meant Lauren Fairweather and I was very excited. Then very disappointed when I was given several "What the heck? Is this girl crazy?" looks. Hooray for awkward moments?

Nom nom nom...Poptarts.

CAUTION: The following paragraph contains graphic content involving my sick hydration habits.

Those of you who know me well are aware of what a lazy sloth I am. Instead of getting up to grab a glass of water, I am pretty much gagging myself in order to produce enough saliva to swallow this tasty treat of toaster goodness. I am so sick and twisted.

SPEAKING OF! I'd like to start a new feature-including-thing for my blogs on here. Called - My Psycho Neighbors: What Have They Done Now? Yush. I think I will. Starting now...

My Psycho Neighbors: What Have They Done Now?
Most of you know about my brief crush on the neighbor boy. Yes, the vampire one. Well that ship has sailed, because he needs to be committed into a crazy hut.
I was playing baseball with my little sister (because I am a good role model and you should worship me. *Shrines*) when I spot creepy-neighbor-kid (Shall we call him Larry? It fits his personality) out of the corner of my eye. I decide to ignore him. Then after letting him creepily spy on me for about 10 minutes I decided to say hi.

I walked over to him, dragging my sister with me. I said hi, he said hi. I introduced myself, he introduced himself. I was stunned by his beauty, he said "Is she drunk?" while staring at my sister who was hiding behind me trying to get me the heck away from him (She is so smart, why didn't I listen?).

(These are not exact quotes, because no one can remember dialogue that well, but they are pretty darn close.)

"Excuse me?" I said, slightly confused. She's four after all. Aren't all four-year-olds antisocial? Eh, maybe that's just normal for me.

"Is she drunk? Does she know what that means? Drunk? *PIG SNORT*" The crazy man replied

"Erm, no. She's four. We haven't exposed her to the world of alcohol yet." I stared at him stupidly, trying to comprehend the situation.

"Oh, she's weird. I have ADHD and so does my brother. No one else at my school does because they're stupid. Do you want to see my backyard? The other neighbors are being sued because their dog killed those *points* peoples dog. Our dog has to be chained up because she can jump the fence. Do you want to see her? The other neighbor *points* has a beer belly. You know what that is, right?"

My first thought was that this kid is an alcoholic waiting to happen. My second thought was, why not go to this weird, but really hot, guys backyard?

"Um, yeah, I know. And sure, I'd like to see your...yard." I paused. It was awkward and suggestive. I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. Jeez.

So we went into his backyard. I felt weird just standing there so I walked over to his dog and started petting it. That's when things got...bizarre.

His dog jumped on me. I am a dog person, so whatever. I'm used to it, but Larry wasn't having it. He yelled "STOP!!!!1!!!1!1!" and then ran over to the dog. I just stared at him.

Then he hit her. Hard. I winced and my hand involuntarily came up to slap Larry in the face for being so cruel. I should have, but I am nice.

"I hit her a lot harder usually. It makes my hands hurt. That's why I went so easy on her, cuz my hands hurt from last time."

I was mentally preparing a speech in my head about animal cruelty and how he is going to rot in hades, blah, blha, blah, I was planning to work in lots of Shakespearean insults when he did the unimaginable.

He kissed the dog on the lips.

He kissed her and he lifted up her ear and blew into it.

Then he laughed like a weirdo and whispered "turd" into its' ear. Then blew into it again.

He laughed.

Whispered turd.

Blew into its' ear.

Kissed it.

Over and over and over and over again. I was the witness to both an assault and a molestation of a dog. Crazy shazz man. Crazy shazz.

I managed to get home without becoming even more traumatized, but that memory will last FOREVER.


Poptarts. Nom nom nom.

Today was To Write Love On Her Arms day. I would explain it, but you can look it up yourself if you don't know. I am lazy, remember?

NaNoWriMo is going great. I love my plot. It's fantastic.

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world... (Why that just came in my head, I will never know)

I went Christmas shopping last weekend and got all of my "Santa" presents. Moccasins, Lock and Key ~ Sarah Dessen, New bedspread/curtains, pajamas, underwear, socks (Er, I ish lame), and some other stuff I already forgot about! Woo.

On that note -

Mozes- We need to talk, because I'm afraid that maybe your foot has been amputated and my father has to give me an answer my tomorrow about that thing. Yeah.

Jerrica- You and the Cracker are such a Disney couple. When I picture you two I see ball gowns and talking forest animals. Such perfect-ness.

Jamie- I feel even more pathetic about spending whole days on YouTube when I read about your inspirational church life. Like I should move, or do something. Psh. Like that's gonna happen.

Warning: There's going to be a lot of typos cause spell check's not working. :O Faillll

Ok, there's a lot of different videos on YouTube and blogs about this topic, but I want to write about it too. So stick that in your juice box.



Yeah, I have no idea where that came from.



I failed last year. No, Worse than failed. I quit about a week into it. I didn't even try. It sucked and that's not going to happen again.



But I need MOTIVATION!



My status on Facebook and Y!M are both me asking for motivation. Bets, bribes, tips, ideas, help. Anything.

MISSY: I HATE THIS!!!

EMMA: I HATE YOU! :p

JAMIE!: NEW TOPICZ!

Haha. So now you'll never know how I was going to finish this. ;)

So I've been going to church for a while and the church I was hosting this thing called The Drive-In. Basically, this weekend I stayed at a vollunteers house with about 5 other girls and our group leader. Saturday morning we went to an amazing morning service, and then we had some small group time were we reflected on the service. We had some free time for lunch and whatever we wanted after that, and we came back to the church at 6 to eat dinner. About an hour after we all got our dinner, we went back into the church for the night service. After that awesome service, we went back to the host home. The next morning we woke up and went to Sunday service. Middle schoolers and high schoolers were at the same services most of the weekend, but to make sure everyone had room middle school went to the 9:00 service Sunday morning, and high school went to the 11:00 morning service.

Friday, I got to the host home after getting lost cause there were a TON of neighborhoods with the same name. We fell asleep around 12:00 (We were the only group who went to bed so early) and woke up around 7:15 the next morning. We headed to the church and listened to the first Saturday service.

I was not ready for the amazingness. I never knew pre-teen/teenage children could be so into it. The music was amazing, and everyone was singing and dancing. And you could tell that they weren't just doing it to be like everyone else. They were doing it because they were inspired and moved by the whole thing. The theme for this weekend was The Kingdom. The speaker was so motivating and so great. He really got the message across to us. We talked about what the kingdom is and what it's about, taking yourself off the throne and putting God up there all the time, and always showing other people to the kingdom.

Of course, it was a funny service too. The middle school leader dressed up as the Burger King dude, and the high school leader dressed up as Braveheart. It was hilarious. :)

For our free time we went shopping for the Christmas program our church is doing and then we ate at Stevie B's. One of the girls made a root beer float and it kind of exploded. xP After that we pretty much just hung out. Went to a park. Played some volleyball.

For dinner I had to bring a fruit and walnut salad from McDonalds to church since they were having chicken. After dinner we went to the Saturday night service.

The service started out funny. They played a video of the High school and Middle school leader dancing and singing to Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. (They were in their "King" costumes!) It was hilarious. :)

And to back that up, the speaker gave a great service. At the end there were three groups up front. One was a group of people who wanted to get saved and accept Jesus into their hearts. The next group was people who wanted to come up to the steps and pray to God to help them choose the one thing that they needed to sacrifice (Another thing we talked about). The third group included about 33 Middle schooler's, including me, and a heck of a lot of high schooler's who wanted to get baptized. It was such a great experiance. It brought many people to tears. Everyone was serious about it, and I loved it.

All in all it was an amazing inspirational experience. Sunday morning I got baptized by the High school leader, with my friend who got baptized by our middle school leader. A couple other people that I know got baptized, and that was very moving. It just felt like the right time, and it's very hard to explain. I loved the Drive-In and I plan on going again next year. I made new friends, which is great, and I changed for the better. I'm so glad my church plans things like this and I can't wait to see what's next. :)

I also bought Matt Papa's CD (He's the singer for the weekend.) and I can not stop listening to it. :)
-Jamie

So this week has started off fairly well.

There's a new kid at school, which it good for me seeing as I don't have anyone to talk to in my lunch period. He was kicked out of his previous school which is a little frightening, but he seems nice enough. So hooray for a possible new friend?!

I'm going to the dance at school tomorrow with a bunch of friends which is awesome. And I'm going to church on Wednesday with Tanner. It's Halloween night, so we all get to wear out costumes. I'm excited to go as Harry Potter. Last Wednesday was really cool. It was Tanner's first time going to Radiate (our church's sermon for middle school kids) and I could tell that he was really moved by it. A lot of my friends go to my church too and they're all inspiring.

I'm going to a lock-in at the local skating rink on Saturday. I'm excited because some of my best friends are going and we're probably going to end up crashing in the bathroom stalls together. :)
This means I'm gonna miss trick-or-treating, but somehow I think I'll manage to survive.

I only have one week 'till my last 6 Flags ticket expires, which sucks. I think I'm going to convince my mom to take me, but theme parks are no fun by yourself.

Reading over my blog, it sounds like I have a social life. Hahaha, no.

My Spanish teacher is seriously getting on my last nerve. She doesn't brush her teeth and she talks... a lot. The stench fills up the entire room. It's hideous. And she doesn't teach us anything. It's all just bookwork.

I was moved away from The Guy in science because we were talking too much and given a new partner. She's so stupid. Blah. She asked me how to spell "October" today. *Sigh*

But on the bright side, I got my phone back. It was taken up in GA Studies because I was taking pictures of a PowerPoint instead of writing the notes, but I havez it now. It still doesn't work though. I can't wait to get it turned on. <3

Blah, blah, blah. I need to do my homework/study. Math until test tomorrow. I'm going to fail. Okay, blog to you later.


-Emma

I'm wearing a cape.

It makes me feel bad ass.

I'm going to Trick or Treat Village at 2:30. We have to pick up my sister's best friend, then I'm gonna go to the booth that my church and help out for two hours. It's the Superhero booth which is why I'm wearing a cape. It's a Batman cape. I'm also gonna wear my batman shirt and jacket, and a batman mask.

I'm a bit obsessed with Batman at the moment.

Then tonight I'm going to a neighborhood Halloween party. I'm gonna be Batman, even though my costume is very lame. A cape and a mask. I believe that's a fail.

I've been listening to Wrock, Hank Green, and Lauren Fairweather a lot lately. My nerdiness kind of went away, and I'm working to get it back. I think it's working. I hope it's working. I miss being a nerd.

The drama kind of went away (THANK GOODNESS!) I've kind of taken myself out of it all. I've grown closer to my not so dramatic friends, and kind of been not so close to my dramatic friends. It's better for me a believe. And I've been nicer to everyone. That's a plus.

I found out that I have an aunt that I didn't even know about. My mom doesn't know her name, and nobody in my family has thought to even look her up. It's making me curious, and I want to find her. But on the other hand I don't...Idk. It's confusing.

Emma, I miss you. We need to talk soon or I'm going to go crazy. We can talk about ANYTHING. Just something.

I might be moving to North Carolina to go to a boarding school. In North Carolina. I'd have to get a scholarship, which is unlikely. I'd be applying for my tenth grade year though, because the applications for my ninth grade year would have to be sent in by November. I'd like a chance to work on my grades and get some volunteer work in before I apply. So I look good. It looks like a really good school with some good opportunities.

It's an all girl school though. I'm not sure if that will create more of less drama. Hopefully less, but you never know.

Idk. It's a big decision. Some of my friends are applying though. So that's good. At least there's a chance that I'll know some people.

I hope my Spanish teacher gets fired. She's evil.

She screamed at our class on Thursday because we were talking. Then we got a lecture where she basically said that she's gonna make it impossible to pass the class and she's gonna make sure we all take an F to high school. She's done this twice. Spending the entire class period lecturing us instead of teaching. She's banged her fist on multiple students desks. Can she get fired for that? If she can, I'm gonna report her. I can't afford a bad grade for my first high school grade. That's gonna negatively affect my future, and I can't let that happen. It's a scary thought.

Well, that's all I really have to say.
(I'm so bad at conclusions.)
(Also, my favorite song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6RwIdea_1E&feature=related <3)

-JamieLovesSocks

"Do you love me?" I asked him, leaning forward on my bed even though there was nothing to lean forward to. The phone was pressed up against my ear, slightly sweaty, as phones are if you hold them too close to your face for too long. I could hear the shufflings of my family downstairs, some coming upstairs. They couldn't hear this conversation, but I was dying to know.

"Why do you think I asked you out in the first place?" he asked me, sounding a little exasperated.

"So you love me?" I ask again.

"Yes, I love you!"

"It's only been three weeks!"

"Do you love me?"

My mind wrapped around the idea. Telling him I loved him. What good would it do? It had only been three weeks. I couldn't let him have me like that. Even the many a fantasy about saying "I love you" and the things we would do afterward wouldn't allow me. I could feel the words building up in my throat, my lips forming around them, tasting them. I'd never said it before.

But I wouldn't say it, for the first time, over the phone. What was wrong with me? It would have to be in person. After what, I don't know. But I would feel the moment. I wanted to be swept away in the moment, in his arms, not sitting on my bed a little after nine o'clock at night, hoping my parents won't walk in.

"No, Graham, it's too soon."

"So why did you go out with me?"

Because I love you, you idiot!!

"Because I like you. A lot."

"You don't love me?"

"I care about you so much Graham, don't do this to me."

Then his phone died.

~

Real episode. Real thing. Actual factual. All that.

He told me the next day that he didn't realize how much the word actually meant to me. That it meant more than just going out with someone. That those three words were special to me and I didn't toss them around like I didn't care.

Yeah.

So, incident avoided.

It's been going well, besides that little incident.

I went over to his dad's house last night. His parents are divorced, so, yeah. We watched "Snapped", you know, that show on Oxygen? And "Desperate Housewives". And some of the football game. But not really, if you know what I'm saying. You see, if you change the channel on his upstairs TV it changes it downstairs, which is where we were. So we were forced to watch football.

I didn't really know who was playing.

There was also an incident where he lead me up to his room to get "board games". Little did I know (or perhaps a lot did I know) he was going to try to kiss me. But then I ran away from him.

Which was later followed by a steamy (yet still sloppy, still very sloppy) make out on a chair in his living room. He tried to stick his tongue in my mouth.

He always does.

Which is a little scary, but still hot.

I wrote The Poem.

It'll never be a song or anything, but still. It makes me happy. I wrote it after school today, and it sounds very good to me so that's excellent.

I didn't want to use the word "you", because like, I don't know, my songs always come out cheesy when I do that, so I kept it as "A boy and a girl" and that seemed to work well for me. I don't know. I think it's good. But I'll share it later maybe, when he's seen it. I don't know what to call it, but it's about how we fell in love in the fall but we'll make it through the winter and everything.

We were talking about what to name our kids.

I know it sounds kind of sketchy, but it's really kind of just half-joking around. We wanted to be in an eHarmony commercial so we were going to make eHarmony accounts and pretend to find each other on it. And then we wanted to go on those ancestry sites where you make your family tree on it and make our children and our grandchildren.

Make our children. Hardy har har.

We were talking about names, and he wanted to name our "son" Graham. I was like, "No!!" And he said, "Why? Did you want to name it Jerry?" No, I do not. I don't want to name our kids after ourselves. I think it would be cool to name one of our kids Autumn, since we started dating two days after fall began, September 23rd. And of course I love the name Sage.

I know it seems kind of weird to be thinking about that stuff, but we jokingly talk about it a lot.

Glee moment:

Graham: "You know what we should do?"
Jerrica: "Elope?"

:)

He set himself up for that one.

Glee is like, my new favorite show. It rocks. Rachel is awesome, and I want to kill Quinn and Shu's wife so, you know. Pregnant deception! I mean really. And Kurt, the gay kid! Ahhh I love him.

So life has been pretty good, la la la.

Okay I need to tell you something!!!

I made the mix CD cover for Graham. And since I have no artistic skills whatsoever, I decided to make him a collage.

Of semi-inappropriate phrases.

That I found in magazines.

It's pretty sick. I have one from an Astroglide ad, that says "Make love even better" and one that says "relieve knee pain", and all this other stuff! It's wicked awesome. I just need to make the CD itself and I already have the track listing, so that's good. I just need to, you know, burn it. BURN IT! Into a CD.

Anyway, I'm going to go, so I'll write later perhaps!!!!!!!!!!!






- TWJerricaS

Does the S stand for something else?



No.

Oh yeah and I decided not to do NaNoWriMo. Got too much on my plate already. I don't think I could write a novel right now. Oh well.

Goodgollygosh, I haven't blogged in forever.

A lot has happened since my last entry. And I mean A LOT!

So we moved into our new house. It's a little bit big for just my dad and me, but I like it. I've been sleeping better and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that my grandmother isn't around to vacuum at 1:00 AM (true story).

The whole drama with Hunter is resolved. We went to the councilor who, after we told our stories, ended up blaming the whole she-bang on Jamie and Jessi for taking part in telling Hunter there was a rumor going around about her. So we're friends now. Better friends then before, I think. There's pretty much an unspoken agreement between us that we are to never speak of the incident again. Which is perfectly fine with me.

I may be in like? <3
So there's this guy (Jeez, how many times do you think this line is used everyday by hormonal teenage girls?) and he's really sweet. He's my lab partner...and my Georgia Studies partner...and sometimes my math partner. Our names are right next to each other in the alphabet. Anyway, he has shaggy blond hair and green/yellow eyes. He's pretty smart too. He's our Fellowship of Christian Students leader too. We have a lot in common and he jokes around with me about being a klutz and a nerd.
We pass notes in class and he's so cute about it. He's afraid of being caught so he asks to go to the bathroom so he can reply. (<3)
He had some girl trouble (as in this girl accused him of stalking her. Pshh) and he came to me all frustrated and PO.
We've become friends over the past nine weeks. And I like him a lot. But there are a few problems.

1) He's practically related to my best friend (as in he's been her neighbor for 10 years and their families are pretty much one.)
2) He doesn't date. Period.
3) He doesn't like me the way I like him.
4) He does that weird "I'm going to repeat this statement 4 times just to make sure you hear it" thing.
5) He's a carnivore.

So, yeah.

School has become more bearable lately. I'm sort of friends with these two girls who I sit with at lunch (No more deranged Wal-mart bags and duct tape kid!). There's of course The Guy. And there's Sherilyn, Ashleigh, and I'm tying to become better friends with Becca and more of the FCS kids.

So, yeah, I still miss all of my besties (to PIECES! <3), but I'll still get to see some for them in high school.

Speaking of church, I didn't go this week. Instead, I stayed at home and built an AWESOME fort out of cardboard boxes, sheets, and chairs with Tanner and his friend Sydney. It was the "Hobo House of Awesome(ness)". Heh.

Also, I love this song.

We had a chorus concert today. It went well, I think. My brother and sister came, so I was clearly worried we would end up being That Family. You know, the one with the screaming kids that has to be removed from the building?
That didn't happen, but God. Ugh. Those kids are...terrible. My brother...there's no hope for him. He's 9. 5 foot tall. And 120 pounds. Hello!? Doesn't anyone else think this is a health hazard? He's in the fourth grade and he has HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?! He has bigger boobs then me!
Not to mention the fact that he's an asshole.
And my dad thinks it's a phase.
He's already failing classes. And is destined to live at home until he is 40.
He wants to be a bag boy when he grows up. Jeez, aim high buddy.
Seriously, he makes me crazy. And he is...so child predator-ish. I mean he doesn't leave people alone. It's a constant violation of personal space. I...have issues with space. I like it. I need it. So needless to say, we don't get along.
I caught him in my underwear drawer before....

My sister on the other hand, there is hope left for her. I'm not going to let there be TWO duds in the family. No, no, no. I don't want to be the sister of the girl who is preggers at 15, a smoker, stupid, and lazy. Aw hell no. I demand to have at least one civilized sibling!

Speaking up, living with a single dad has many ups and downs.

UP'S:
He doesn't care when you go to bed, just as long as you wake up in the morning.
The Office marathons.
He leaves me alone.
I can eat dinner on the couch. (I have to, really. We don't have a table yet.)
Everything is pretty spontaneous. Nothing is planned ahead of time.
I finally get to experience the White Trash lifestyle. As in, "There's no milk for my cereal, so I'll just use orange juice." and "There's no curtains so I'll just tack up some towels."

Down's:
He can't cook. At all. We had cheese sandwiches, instant mashed potatoes, and peach ice cream for dinner. *Vomits*
"That time of the month". Erm, awkward.
Boys. In case you didn't know, my new neighbor is smokin', but my father totally...ugh.
"Do you have a daughter?"
"Not one that you'll ever meet." =\ Thanks dad. Now I'll never get to talk to Hot Guy.

Also, my English teacher is awesome. She complimented me on my "Where I Stand" essay and then used it as an example in class. <3

NaNoWriMo starts soon (AHH!). I need a plot. Agh.

I've started writing in a journal again. Fun, fun.

I have all A's currently. (Except in Choir. WTF? How do I have a freaking B in choir!?)

I have to write a poetry anthology by Monday. Ugh, I suck at writing poetry.

I think I'm getting a keyboard for Christmas! (Second Wife stole my old one)

I have a pillow now! (Second Wife stole my pillows too)

I'm making a HE-UGE Lauren Fairweather type collage in my room. <3



On that note, I bid you ado.

Hello young children.

I've been calling people young children a lot lately. Not sure what that's about.

TODAY I went hiking. Pretty shaztastic, if ya know what I'm sayin'.

Emma and Jamison- Seems like you guys are pretty dramatic down there in ye olde Georgiahhhh. Drama up in the New England hasn't really been much, however, according to Keenan, Class Pimp, there was a lot of drama at the Fair on Friday. Drama I was immune to as Graham and I made out on the ferris wheel and cuddled on every other ride, slow-danced in long lines, pretended to be a fighting abusive couple, talked about running away together and living on music.

It was a good night.

He's cute.

Tomorrow he's coming over and we're playing some board games.

We made up generic names for board games, because I told him I had the generic Scrabble- Upwords, it is called. So Battleship thus became Sink Your Opponent.

PLAYLIST TALK!

Ever since I gave Jazz my playlist password (well, I changed it from my typical life password so she could use it) she has been adding all of this CRAP to my playlist. Like Lil' Wayne, Stiff Dylans, all this hip hop nonsense. Anyway, my playlist is basically full now so if I want to add more songs i have to delete some of hers. And it was me being nice, because of her parents and all, but yeah. That's the extent of my drama. Graham and I are pretty undramatic, besides the fact that we decided to be an abusive couple. Which is just us, basically, pushing each other WHILE we hold hands. So you know. It's pretty intense.

Intense death metal.

He's writing some sort of song about me.

For some reason I'm having intense writer's block. Intense. I've written some stuff, but the day after I write it, it always seems to suck.

You know?

Ugh.

Why isn't he inspiring me? I have a poem from when Matt was making me angry, called "Body Without a Soul"...

Nasty rotten bitch boy
Blond, quirky, girl toy.
Who or what is he?
A liar or a shy boy?
Does he even like me?
I think he's just a shell of a man.
A body without a soul inside it.
Does he do what he does for a reason?
Or does he do it because he can?
I tried to reach out to him thinking that
I could help him or comfort him.
But he refused
So now I refuse
To talk to Matt,
Again.

I kind of like it. But that's just me, I guess. I wish I could hit my creative niche with Graham. I've written some stuff for him but it all sucks. I need, something.

He's so amazing. And I like him a lot. But I feel like, you know. I want to write him poems, and songs.

Writer's block makes me CRAZY!!

Maybe that's why I'm blogging. Just to get all the writery nonsense out.

I got my book a few days ago, and I've been looking at it. Literary agents, at least. I have a lot more reading to do. I'm not giving up my dream of publishing Amber because of Graham. I mean, obviously there's less of a drive because I'm preoccupied, but I still want it to get published. Though I want to edit the kissing parts. Because I wrote it before I, well, actually kissed someone. Hah.

At least I've gotten my first kiss. Finally, right? I'm 15. So, it's about time, right? I mean, a lot of my friends haven't gotten kissed yet, but I'm kind of older than some of my friends so. Older. Old.

So far, 15 is shaping to be a lot better than 14. 14 was kind of sucky, you know? There was Matt, and all of the times I felt like I wanted to die, and of course all that drama between all of us, which I hated. :( So 15 is better, I will make it better. It's going to be My Year. The year that the book goes places, the year that I have a great relationship, the year that I have a good school year. Things are going to happen to me. I'm going to be this optimistic. Because, well, I can. So take that, world.

I feel confident right now.

But I'm still really bored, you know? I mean, I just conversed with the Graham so that was fun, I love talking to him. And hugging him. And the kissing, well, that's improved...

We were just kind of sitting there on the ferris wheel. Wait, I've already lied. He had his arm around me, and I had my head on his chest. The ferris wheel, FINALLY, stops. We had already kissed once that evening, when his friends couldn't see us on the ferris wheel, but it was really quick, lips only. Kissing is still private for us, something that only we experience, and no one else really sees. It's something special that we share and look forward to, anticipating the few precious moments that we have to ourselves, to escape into the little world of lips connected.

I am so damn profound.

So finally, the ferris wheel stops. I sit up. We talk, about something I don't remember now. He's looking from my eyes to my lips. He leans toward me. I lean toward him. My eyes close. I'm not sure what to expect, since our first kiss was, you know, a face-eating spectacular. Of my face, anyway.

It's better. I know what to expect. We're not perfect, we're sloppy, but we just want to kiss each other. I laugh a little into the kiss. He laughs a little. He pulls me closer to him, I gladly go closer. The fair's sights and smells are all around us, mostly below us, but I'm not aware of them. It's just him, his arms, his lips, his smell. Everything is silent.

And sure, when we break apart, I have to wipe the spit off the side of my face. But it feels imperfectly flawless. I put my head on his chest again. I can feel his words before he says them, the hum of his vocal chords. "That was so much better than the first time."

"So much better," I breathe.

Then we're silent, soaking up the moment, reflecting as the whole world goes by below us and the ferris wheel starts back up, unaware of what we're thinking.

That's teenage love for you. Or, Teenage really like. It's only been 2 1/2 weeks. :)

But you know me.

- TWJerricaS

If you didn't see this blog before I edited it, don't worry. You didn't miss much. Just maybe one or two paragraphs of useless crap.

I had a headache. I went upstairs to sit in my bathroom floor with the shower turned on, and the steam filling the entire room. Then I come back downstairs, and I still have a headache. Oh well Jamie. Suck it up.

Sorry for causing all that shit, Emma. I didn't mean for Jessi to read the text. She's just a nosy bitch (More on that later.) I didn't want to cause a scene in Wal-Mart when she decided to call Hunter, but she did freaking get a bucket load of pissed off when we got home. And I didn't realize she was on the phone with Hunter's mom. I honestly don't know what Jessi was thinking. So again, sorry.

Also, even though I'm not on the best terms with Jessi, I don't want false info being told about her. She never told Hunter's mom that you started the rumor. She said that one of Jamie's friends asked her if the rumor was true. Of course her mom would want to know what friend it was, so Jessi told her. She clearly told her mom that you did not start the rumor, that you heard it and being a caring friend, you asked me if the rumor was true. Jessi's exact words. Jessi then asked me for my phone. I let her see it cause I wasn't thinking, and a was occupied with picking out ice cream before my parents checked out. I then heard Jessi giving her mom your number. I quickly grabbed the phone, resisting the urge to slap her, and grabbed the closest ice cream. Which happened to be Rocky Road (Ew.)

I felt so bad for Hunter though. She was crying when Jessi finally did talk to her.

You're a lucky person, you know that right? I wish I could switch out of our hell of a school.

Jessi is a freaking over dramatic bitch. I was talking to Katherine (Friend) yesterday, and she told me that Jessi told her that I didn't want her to go to the All Time Low/The White Tie Affair concert at Six Flags because I hated her. Then I told Katherine that Jessi said that Katherine didn't want to go because I went and I am a bitch. Lies. All effing lies, and I can't believe that "little, sweet Jessi" would actually say stuff like that. It turns out Katherine didn't go because she had a family crisis going on. Ugh. This will probably all blow over by Monday though, cause that's just who I am. I say I can't stand someone then a day later I'm friends with them again. I'm a freaking push over.

I also no longer like Savannah. She's annoying and needs to stay out of other people's business. She upset Baylee (Really good friend) a lot. Baylee was pretty depressed. I love Baylee to death. She's like my younger sister. She's so incredibly sweet and she doesn't need that shit going on.

I went to Stars and Strikes with Natalee and Chantal Wednesday. Goodness I freaking love these girls. They're amazing. xD

I went to church Sunday (With Jessi. . .) It was fun. Sydney was there, and the church was really different. I think it fit me well. There were a lot of "alternative" people there, as my mom would call them. The music was good, my group leader rocked, and the service really got to me. I've never been really religious, but recent events have changed my mind. I've actually been thinking about going to a FCAS meeting at school.

I love school this year (Besides the fact that I also hate it, but that's besides the point.) My friends are in most of my classes (Kristen, Kendra, Natalee, Chantal, Taylor, Amanda, Katherine, etc. xD) I didn't really know Amanda, Kristen, or Kendra 'till this year, but they're amazing and a love them. I know that Emma and Kendra had problems or something, and I don't know if they resolved that. My classes are going pretty well. I HATE but also love my Language Arts teacher. She's so boring, but she pretty much lets us do anything we want in class. My Math teacher is alright I suppose. Kind of annoying, but it's a fun class. I love Science. I sit with Natalee and Sydney, and the class is amazing.

I also hate school for many reasons. Mainly the bus ride. Goodness I miss Rusty, Dakota, Cody, and John. They were my best bus friends. Sure I still have Michael, School Bus (Nickname, don't ask) and Baylee, but the sixth graders are annoying, as well as the seventh graders. The bus has gotten better I guess.

Like Emma said we're flooded. Six Flags was completely under water. The creek in the woods right behind my house is flooded. Our area isn't flooded, but a lot of other areas in the PC are. It's scary, and I feel really bad for all the families.

I can't stop listening to Nevershoutnever (Christopher Drew). His voice is amazing, and I pretty much melt when I hear his songs. <3

Well, that's really all that's going on in my life. Hopefully we go back to school Monday, cause I'm tired of being a lazy slug who sleeps all day and reads all night.

He's so amazing.

Oh my God Emma, I can't believe you're going to switch schools! You are, right? Also, when people break their bottom, they have this donut-thing you can sit on. I heard about it in like, 7th grade.

Sooo...Graham.

Hahaha I remember sometime in May he added his number to my phone as "Grahamanly". He's a sexy awesome cool amazing...boyfriend. Last night we talked for like an hour and texted for longer than that. He calls me "babe", and "sexy". He hugged me yesterday. He touches me on the back and says, "Take it easy." He sits with me at lunch and break. Today in Study Hall we wrote notes to each other. He looks me in the eyes. He's got the cutest dark blue eyes. When I look at him it's like there's nobody else anywhere at any place at any time.

I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights. But when I wake up it's like I slept forever. It's only been two days...but still.

There's one thing however.

His dad is my track coach.

Gahhh. I don't know if he likes me that much. I'm not the most athletic person ever. I'm okay. But not outstanding.

Also he's 6'1'', or so he claims. I think he's 6 foot. But yeah, he's pretty tall. I'll have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him.

Yeah, we haven't kissed yet.

So apparently I'm the equivalent of a stud because I'm dating a junior. But still. People in my grade are like, "How's Graham?" and I just smile and say, "He's fantastic." Because he is.

I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, it's an amazing feeling. Both Charlotte and Brianna say it goes away after a week, but I kind of hope it sticks around. Even if it means I can't eat correctly or sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

He wore my meekakitty glasses.

He thinks they're cool.

He's designing cool cover art for a mix CD he's making for me.

There's also the problem of my seemingly-jealous ex. I don't really care that much, to be completely honest with you. I just wish he would LEAVE ME ALONE. Like today at lunch Graham and I were sitting together and he comes over and he's like, "oh look at the happy couple." That idiot. And anyway, one of my really good friends, Courtney, likes him, but of course, being an idiot he'll never ask her out.

That was nightmarish.

I told him Graham could beat him up. He probably could. Graham's on the skinny side but he's a scrapper. Ahahahaha.

Plus I think he has abs. Further investigation needed, if you know what I'm saying.

He's also an awesome hugger. You need a quality like that in a guy. He spread his arms out yesterday and I hugged him. It was amazing. In front of my whole gym class too. It was sick awesome. He's...gah.

I know I talk about him a lot. But it's just...you know.

Dayum he's smokin'.

As in smoking hot. He would never smoke.

Yeah, he's an obsessive runner. I'm not the best runner, but I'm trying to get in shape for Nordic. I'm going to his race tomorrow. I'll be there anyway, selling popcorn for my fellow freshmen, so it's all good. Maybe he'll kiss me.

Ew he'll be all sweaty.

Still. I've gotten several compliments saying that we look like a cute couple. I'll have to get a picture of the two of us sometime. If we ever get to that point anyway.
Which we might. Should.

:) I'm just so happy right now. Jazz credits herself with setting us up. Which I guess is true. She told him that I liked him. And she was the first person to say that we would be super cute together.

Goddddd. He should be back from cross country practice soon. He will text me and the world will settle into pure, sweet bliss.

- TWJerricaS :)

Look at me, going all 4th grade on Y'all.

This week officially sucks. I'm not really in a "blogging mood" so I'm just going to list things.

- It flooded. As in my state. It's underwater.
- We haven't had school because the waste processing plant dumped 100,000,000 gallons of waste into the river that drains into our lakes...where we get our water. So we are on a boil water advisory and unless you want to shower in a ton of s***, you don't have many hygiene options available.
- My irl friends are asshats. (What's with my language today?)

Why are they all asshats?

Because they are all self-centered, backstabbing, I can't even come up with a mean enough word to describe them. (Fukasitchdicasdards? Eh, no.)

Let's just say that because of them I'm switching schools in the middle of my 8th grade year. Sure, I'll miss certain people. There are a handful of students at our school who aren't shitstickers. (Savannah, Taylor, Lauren, <3) I feel the need to include names, because I know they will probably be reading this and they should know that I don't blame them.

As for everyone else, consider yourself blamed.
("Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you SO strong. It's clear. We're. Going to get along!" Eh, stupid show tunes.)

So I guess you could say it all started on Friday. Last Friday. I was in a bad mood. I have Georgia Studies 6th period and my teacher makes me want to slam my head against the concrete walls. Sheeeee taaaalllkssss sssooooo sllllloooowlllly and over ee-nun-cee-ates ever-ey-th-in-guh.

It's unbearable. So when the afternoon announcements come on I dart for the door like every other day. We're dismissed. I run down the halls to meet up with Savannah, so that I can freely bitch and moan about how much I hate my teachers and how I'm going to "fail" everything. Because Savannah is my rock and she puts up with that kind of stuff. In return she bitches about her family life and how she doesn't have a phone.

Then it happens...

"Hey did you hear Hunter is pregnant?"

BAM! Yeah, not as dramatic as you would have thought, eh? Yep. So we're in the hallway right where the 7th grade and the 8th grade car riders/bus riders merge and while Savannah and I are desperately trying to squeeze through impossible spaces so that we can get past a freaking vending machine (that we really don't need. I mean seriously, who is going to pay $1.25 for apple juice?) when I overhear some kids talking about Hunter.

Hunter and I aren't "friends" per se, but we like each other. We've talked on several occasions at honer chorus and we were math partners last year. So I considered us acquaintances. She's the friend that you talk to when your other friends are out sick or something. So, I turn to Savannah and we're almost outside and ask "It's not true, is it?" and she says "What?" and I reply, "That Hunter is pregnant? That's what I just heard." and she says, "I don't know. I doubt it. If it is, I'll kill her." so we both try and come up with reasons someone would think that.

Hunter isn't "fat", but she is super tall and fairly strong (She plays soccer). Savannah mentions that it could have something to do with her not being able to sit down. I just figured that there was something wrong with her back. It turns out she broke her butt or something, but that's kind of irrelevant. (Also, do they make you wear some kind of butt cast? I would appreciate it if someone could answer that for me.)

So we both part ways, because my mom is first in line. (My grandfather's car smells like something died in there. Completely off topic, but it does.) And to be quite honest I didn't think about the whole Hunter thing for a good three hours until I saw her Facebook updates. I thought about getting her number and asking her about it, but I wanted to be completely sure that it was/wasn't true first, because she could easily get offended.

So I text Jamie (Jamielovessocks) of Jozimma. I ask her if it's true. She says no and I figure the drama is all over with. It's just some stupid rumor right? If I had a dime for every rumor I've heard about me I'd be a very rich girl. Rumors are typical territory at my school. When a new one gets started it's the talk of the town...for about 3 hours until another one starts up.

But we couldn't just leave it there. Oh, no.

So of course, being the gossip town we are, we couldn't just drop the subject and move on, because we all know it's stupid to feed fuel to the fire.

It makes perfect sense for Jamie to tell Jessi, who is over at her house. And it makes even MORE sense for Jessi to call Hunter's mother, because it's always best to get the parents involved, right? Because parents aren't biased and completely irrational.

So then Jessi proceeded to tell Hunter's mom all about how I started the rumor and was spreading it. Jamie game Jessi my phone number. Jessi gave Hunter's mom my phone number.

Then Hunter's mom proceeded to spend the next hour and a half threatening me, tell me that I have until Monday night to find out who started the rumor or a cliche "bad things will happen" and she will "be all over me and my parents" to which I muttered "That's what she said." and resisted the urge to scream profanities and several people.

So the next day I told my mom I wanted to switch schools. She's a good lady. She didn't question my decision or ask me why. She simply said, "Okay. I guess that means I have to figure out where McClure is."

I spent the next several hours alerting my few "lovely" of my decisions. Some sympathized, some were assholes, and some said just the right things.

And that my friends, is why this week sucks.

I'm such a bitch. bitch bitch bitch. You like him and he thinks you're a wannabe bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. You didn't mean to. But he thinks, oh Jesus. I like Kayla, she's nice. She's a nerdfighter. But he's cute. So cute. And nice and funny and he calls you babe. But she's a good friend. She likes the same things you do. She isn't a..

He's okay. :)

Everything is okay.

Calm down.

Kayla.

She's sooo nice. She likes John Green. Talk to her. Don't. Graham or Kayla. Talk to Kayla, don't be like Kayla. Be nice to Graham. You like Graham. You like Graham! Ahahaha. No laughing. Sorry. Seriously. Talk to Kayla. Don't make fun of Graham. Oh God, you're a bitch. Not a bitch, mislead. Mistakes. You suck. You're okay. he likes you enough to give you a second chance. Take it. He'll be there. He's awesome. He's just, interesting. NEW MESSAGE!!

He's leaving. He's so cute. So nice. So sweet. And clever and funny. We're going to be Sorry, We're Closed together in an a capella band. He's so sweet. I'll be compassionate and considerate to him forever. All of my days. So...amazing. Graham. :)

<...>

Yep. I like this guy. His name is Graham. He runs cross country and is on High Honors. He is a junior, but he's 15 almost 16, so that's not too bad. He's tall and has red hair and he likes to text me and Facebook message me. Sometimes he calls me babe. :) I just, I like him. We have study hall together, and the reason I was freaking out is because he said...

Graham
hey ur different
Jerrica
...
Graham
so do me a favor
Jerrica
A favor? What kinda favor? I have morals, you know. xP
Graham
Then have them. show me more respect that you show me now in study hall. kayla is a nobody so dont be like her
Jerrica
I thought we were just joking around...sorry if I hurt ur feelings or something...
Graham
Thanks. I dont really like kayla, i just dont burn bridges

Then he forgave me and went offline.

Okay well, we have been kind of mean to him, but it was in a joking way, swear to God. He seemed to think it was funny, but he's a guy so, I guess he's not a fantastic emotion-shower. Anyway, Kayla is this really cool girl that's also in my study hall and also a junior. She likes John Green and she's a nerdfighter, and really nice. But there's Graham. And I've known him longer. I've known him for a few years now and just started liking him. I just met Kayla and became friends with her this year. But, I don't know, he doesn't like her but she sits next to him and they all do homework together.

So we've been teasing him and I've had fun, but he said that he doesn't like that so...

He's writing a song for me.

And making me a mix CD.

And we've been joking that we're going to start an a capella group called Sorry, We're Closed.

And he's a drummer in this band called Iron Blue something or other, from some Metallica thing, but I think his band should be called Sold Out.

He's got red hair, though he claims it to be strawberry blonde.

Jazz thinks he's weird.

Idk though, he's just so, original. He's not a wannabe, or immature. He's refreshing. He's expressive and unique.

I like the feeling right now, just, of having a crush on someone. It feels new and pretty.

Also, I've been running, trying to get back into the habit. Not on the treadmill though. On good, solid pavement. It's been leaving my legs pretty sore, but I need to get strong for Nordic, that's a definite.

Well yeah. That's me.

I hope he texts me later...Glee's on tonight. :)

- TWJerricaS

Hey guys. Just felt like posting a bloggeh type thing. My book on how to get published and shtuff isn't going to arrive until October, there was some sort of shipping issue so I'm getting the new version. Hooray!

I don't know, I was thinking about it today, New Hampshire's quick but graceful way of ascending into autumn and winter, brisk, colorful then bare months. Summer flies by, winter stays stagnant for months, shut inside our houses with nothing to do but read thick novels on your couch, a blanket over your legs and a dream in your heart.

You'd think it would make me even more stir-crazy than before, right?

I don't know, right now I just feel kind of nostalgic. Fall is really a time of memories for me. Some good, some bad. Lately, at least for the last few years, fall has been a time of moving. But I feel secure where I am, at least for now. Maybe next fall I'll be moving somewhere else, like New York. Or maybe even sooner than that. Or maybe not at all. But I've decided not to focus on that.

So I have this huge History project that I have to do, and the research consists of ten pages of notes a week. I haven't gotten started on this weeks', but I figure I'll have time during the week. I thought maybe I could get something done tonight, but I feel too restless and sick to focus. I'll study my Geometry vocabulary and finish "What My Girlfriend Doesn't Know", and finish this blog, of course, but other than that, you know.

Things have been going well. I like high school. I feel kind of weird sometimes, being in a public school, but my school is high-ranked so I don't think it'll be too much of a problem. Sometimes I wish I were in a private school, but right now I'm pretty damn happy where I am.

Jasmin's parents are getting divorced.

What a segway, right? I texted Moze awhile back, telling her that, but she didn't get it, not that I would expect her to.

Starting in seventh grade, I went to Jasmin's house a lot. Her house was always warm and inviting. There was always a lot of food, something that my house never seemed to have. Her mother made our breakfast, her dad drove us to the mall. He played music on his Sirius Satellite Radio and made jokes about 30 Rock, her mom asked me constantly if I wanted something to eat or drink, or asked how I was. They were like the parents I wish I had. They always bought nice things for Jasmin, always provided for her. She's an only child. She seemed to live in a paradise separate from the real world, the world where people suffered and starved. She lived in an oasis of material things, of plentiful things, of a house of perfect heated temperature. Her parents were teachers, they had basically the same hours she did. She didn't really understand the worry I went through when my parents stayed out late during the winter, working late at their small business or getting caught up with other things. She had dinner at a consistent time, sometimes I had dinner right before bed.

Then she told me, right when I got home from visiting her oasis. Things seemed to be going as normal. She was fighting with her mom as usual, but her mom was unconditional. She texted me three hours later, "My parents are getting divorced."

I texted back saying she was joking.

I logged on Facebook, there it was. Facebook is serious territory for her. She can spend up to an hour picking out the perfect quote, the perfect song lyrics for her Facebook status. I was scared.

Because it was like, let's think of a book reference, maybe Quentin figuring out that Margo isn't what he thought she was. I just felt like, oh my God. This perfect oasis, like it is in all dystopian science fiction, isn't what people thought it was at all.

That was a week ago today.

Jazz hasn't been so great. Charlotte, Bri, and I are trying to be her rocks, keeping her steady and stable. Her dad moved out and is staying with a friend. She and her mom aren't speaking. She comes in to school wearing the same black North End jacket and jeans, maybe alternating the jeans for her black Victoria Secret sweats or her jacket for an Abercrombie hoodie. But dark clothes, black and navy, like she's mourning. She is mourning. She's still beautiful, but she's broken. She's lost interest. She gets a little better every day it seems, but it's scaring me. Confident, pretty, boy-attracting Jazz is now just Jasmin, Jasmin with the Divorcing Parents.

I mean, it's not like people don't get divorced every day. But her parents were married for years before Jazz was born. They're both over 50. Jasmin said that things haven't really been working for years anyway. And it's a small town. It's weird. Weird and sad.

I didn't really like getting into that, but I kind of needed to say something along the lines of that. I'm really tired. And picking off the last of my extinct nail polish.

Alright well, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my Sunday. Have a nice night everyone.

Before I go...

Emma- that door thing sounds neato! I wish my house had that. And I wish I had my own bathroom. But I guess three bathrooms is better than one. Three in this house and one in the apartment. Yeah. And also, isn't a foot fetish when you get turned on by feet? Not being scared of them? But my foot fetish knowledge is limited, like to "The Princess Diaries" and that scene in the second A-List novel. And also, Broadway? Georgia has a Broadway?

- Jerri Jerri
Like a cherry
...That wasn't how I wanted it to go.
Because I still
Have my cherry.
'Cause I'm as pure as snow.
(Seriously, when am I going to get this fabled First Kiss?)

Since no one else is blogging...

I screwed up today. Luckily I have the cruelest/kindest teacher in the world. So I woke up at 5:00 this morning because I had a TON of homework to do that I decided against doing the night before. Of course I didn't actually get up at 5:00. My alarm went off and I sort of stumbled out of bed and staggered, then fell back down and slept for another hour and a half.

Needless to say, all of my homework was done at lunch/during homeroom. I had a huge essay due today. Huge = 60% of my grade. And so after breakfast I ran downstairs and quickly replaced every "You" in my essay with "They" and "Someone" because apparently my English teacher doesn't approve of my writing style. Then I printed it out and shoved it in my binder.

When I got to school I took out everything that needed to be turned in today:

• My English essay
• My Science study guide
• My Math equations sheet
• My Spanish conjugating verbs lesson
• My Spanish high school credit form

Then I looked over each one. It turns out my English essay was totally screwed up. Sentences were placed within sentences and I didn't use any figurative language. At all.

And on top of that I forgot to E-mail the file to myself, so now I can't even make the corrections without re-typing all seven paragraphs.

Which brings me to the real failure of the day...

Of course I finished all my other assignments thanks to some very nice people. But there was still my screwed up essay...

So I got to English class, my stomach in a knot. You'd have to know my teacher to understand just how scared I was. She looks just like Lauren from 5AG and there are times where she says something so...adorable that it belongs in a Newberry Award winning book. And she is absolutly frightening.

She spends 50 minutes out of our 62 minute period with her voice raised and a look of absolute disgust on her face. She is completely no nonsense and has already written up numerous kids in our class for doing things like chewing on pen caps and putting our heads in our hands. That's right, our heads cannot touch our arms/hands/desks. If they do it's a phone call home. If it happens again you just earned yourself a first class trip to the principals office. The lady has the darkest sense of humor I've ever seen in my life. Every. Single. Word. She says is either 1) Sarcastic 2) Insulting 3) Emphasized (She repeats things...a lot. Like we are stupid or something) or 4) A combination.

I couldn't respect her more.

She's the kind of teacher that I spend my whole year on, trying to get her to like me. I would kill for her approval, just because she never praises anything or anyone.

So when I got to class and she asked for my paper I nearly wet my pants. I just muttered a barely audible "I dont' have it" and walked (more like ran) to my desk. Then she made a point during class to say, "I am completely disgusted with those of you who don't have your "Where I Stand" Essay's. You have been given plenty of time, and yet you still show a lack of initiative. This is going to sound awful of me, but I am sending out E-mails to all of your parents. And I hope it ruins your weekends.". She managed to say all of this while staring right at me.

I have never wanted out of a classroom so badly. I was seriously biting down on my lip, trying to make myself bleed so I could go to the nurse, or something. Anything to get away from the look of death.

Then she called me up to her desk. Apparently the two other people in our class who were absent last Friday didn't have theirs either. So she gave us all until Monday and said she wouldn't knock points off our grade.

I almost started to sing "Hallelujah".

She still send the E-mail.

Sometimes I really hate people. I mean she told me I had until Monday. I figured I was off the hook. Apparently not.

On to another topic...

I went to my first FCS (Fellowship Of Christian Students) meeting Thursday morning. I was surprisingly excited. I came on a good day too because they were voting on group leaders. Each nominee came up and shared a little something about themselves and their relationship with God. Since I knew pretty much everyone there, it left me fairly speechless. A lot of it was really sweet and heartwarming, but some of it was just...wow. I didn't realize how deep and inspirational my friends were. It really opened my eyes. In the end my-best-friends-neighbor-who-is-sort-of-my-friend-because-we-have-every-academic-class-together-plus-he's-the-only-person-I-don't-hate-with-a-passion-and-he's-super-sweet "won" or whatever. I guess I've been getting more serious about religion lately. Maybe it's because I'm all of the sudden going to church and crying in the middle of sermons?

Yeah, more on that.

I'm going to church every Wednesday with this girl Sydney from now on. Her parents are...jeez. They are freaking amazing. Seriously. I've never meet two more accepting people in my life. I go to her mom asking for pink highlights and she's like, "Okay. Whatever makes you happy. I did my daughters hair last year with pink strips. It would look fabulous on you. Plus, It's fun.". Then her dad asks me what I want to do with my life and I tell him journalism and he launches into all the different types, telling me what schools are the best and all the internships I should consider and giving me all this great advice. Then Sydney (who is two years younger then me) turns out to be some mature-and-well-mannered-but-rebellious little girl. Who just happens to be just like me when I was her age.

It's bizarre. But I couldn't of been happier to go to church with them.

First they have this buffet type thing with deserts and lots of vegetarian options (and they don't mind that I'm meat-free. In fact Sydney is considering going vegetarian herself)

Then there was a Radiate meeting for middle school kids. Radiate was mostly just a Christian band playing modern music, then a sermon that had me praying, holding back tears the entire time. Then afterward they had an Elvis impersonator come in. Cool right? And it turns out a lot of kids from my school go there. I almost wish that I was with my dad on Sunday's so that someone could take me then. Maybe when we move...?

Speaking of...

We are moving as of October 15th. I am probably going to go crazy before then, but oh well. I'm contemplating asking my dad if we can stay in a hotel until then. Or maybe I can stay at my aunt and uncle's house. Somehow I doubt he'll go along with it, but if he values Tanner's life...

There I go again. One second I getting holy with Jesus, the next I'm thinking about murdering a family member.

Sometimes I think I have multiple personality disorder.

Last night I nearly lost it. I was about five seconds away from walking down stairs, a textbook in hand, and shoving it into Tanner's kidneys. Luckily I have extraordinary self control. *Splutter/Snort/Eye-roll*

It probably doesn't sound like much to you, but lately I have been extremely irritable (thanks to my lack of sleep) and everything seems to send me into either a fit of rage or a sob fest including runny nose and endless tears. So this little mishap should have landed me in crazy town...

First you need some back story

On Tuesday I went to go see Chicago! on Broadway. It was amazing. Too bad I didn't get home until 12. Didn't fall asleep 'till 1. And I had to wake up at 5. Then Wednesday I tried to catch up on my sleep, but I decided to re-read the Maximum Ride series this week, so naturally I was up reading until 12 again and had to wake up at 5, again. Then Thursday night I was FINALLY going to get some sleep. I went to bed at 8:00 and planned to be asleep by 8:30. It was 9:00 and I was passed out. Exhausted from my week.

When Tanner decides that he should practice his clarinet. My room is right above the living room where he was practicing. So after I woke up, extremely irritable and tired, ready to choke someone, I went out into the hallway and calmly asked him to stop because some of us were sleeping! And he replied with, "Well if I don't practice I'm going to fail band."

He had all freaking day to practice. He did nothing ALL DAY! Not only that, but there are DOZENS of other places he could have played his clarinet that were not right next to my bedroom WHERE HE KNEW I WAS ASLEEP.

So I went back to bed, resisting the urge to slap him silly. He continued to play for 30 more minutes and I didn't get to bed until 12 because I couldn't fall back asleep. Then my alarm went off at 5 again today and you know what happens next...

So I guess I'm just one big ball of emotion this week, eh?

Keepin' ya posted

~Emma

I have a foot fetish.

It isn't a secret. I've gotten better about it over the years. I used to freak out (as in shove you onto the floor almost breaking your nose as I tackle you) when people put their feet near/on me/my stuff. When I was younger I would force all of my friends to wear socks in the house. (I told them it was for their safety). And even though I'm not as OCD about feet now, they still freak me out.

Like now. My foot hurts.

You can ask anyone. I have a lot of phobias. Blood is one of them. When we have Health at the end of the year I have to put my head in between my knees at times to keep from fainting/becoming hysterical.

So right now I am clutching my leg to my chest because my foot is asleep.

When I was nine my ex-grandmother bought be a book of "Who, What, When, Where, and How's". One of the "What's" was What happens when your foot "falls asleep"? The answer was that when your foot doesn't get enough blood you experience a brief tingling sensation as the blood forces it's way through a compacted space. Of course this is the one fact that has stuck with me over the years.

So there you go. Blood and feet. My worst nightmare.

Moving on (while I continue to hyperventilate).

Today has not been a good day. I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom during third period because I was starting to cry. My math teacher seemed concerned. I'm going to have to thank him somehow for not getting upset when I spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom trying to gain control and missed half his lecture. And because he kindly ignored the fact that I was distracted and obviously texting throughout the rest of the period. I honestly considered asking him if I could visit the councilor, but I'm pretty sure she would call my parents if I told her everything.

Everything.

I'm the type of person who isn't going to lie to you if you ask them how they are.

I'm also the kind of person who isn't going to be blunt and just sit you down and tell you everything.

But I can tell you somethings.

My dad put an offer on another house this week. I love the house. It feels right. I'd have my own bathroom, something I've always wanted. And the finished basement would be all mine. But the whole reason I really want it is the stairwell.

In my room (maybe) there is door. It doesn't have a doorknob. It doesn't have a hole. You just have to squeeze your fingers in this little crack and remove the board. On the other side is a room. More like a tunnel really. The ceiling is about 3 1/2 feet tall, about 5 feet wide, and aprox. 10 feet long. This room is the stairwell.

I don't know why I love this so much. But it's almost like having a secret hideaway. there are stickers on the cement walls. I'm guessing that some kid about 7 or 8 once played under there.

I love the idea of passing things on. When I die I am going to will everything to a different person. It's like a part of you is moving on. Giving someone the same feeling you once had. Just like some 8 year old is giving me a room that may have once been used as a sekrit spy facility or a school for her stuffed animals. (The stickers are Barbie. Therefore I assume it was a girls room).

Moving on...

I want to talk to someone. She knows who she is. What happened in second left me shaking so hard I had to sit on my hands. I understand that maybe you don't want to talk about it. But that doesn't mean we can't talk. I have questions. You don't have to answer them. All I want is to make sure that this isn't some practice round. That you aren't working up to the big game. You know what I'm talking about. Suicide.

We all dabble in depression. When I experimented with cutting. Do you know what stopped me? I thought, "What if 20 years from now I found out that my daughter was a cutter? What would I do? What if my sister contemplated suicide? What happens then?"

People love you. Your mother, your father, your sister, your friends, heck even your teachers! And your right. Maybe we don't fully understand. Maybe we never will. But we aren't going to just leave you alone and act like nothing is wrong.

Life is full of cliché's. One of them is that when you fall people will always be there to catch you.

We can't catch you if you won't let us.

In conclusion...

I am thirsty. Nighty Night

~Emma

This might make sense, and it might not. But whatever.

My parents fight constantly. They expect so much of me, but I can't do everything. I'm not superwoman.

My grandma is dying. We all know it. I think that even she does. Yet she does nothing to help herself. She smokes, eats like a pig, and sleeps all day.

My aunt recently moved to California. My uncle is making the trip to meet with her today. I'm barely going to be able to see them.

I was sexually harrased. Of course I haven't thought of it that way until recently, but it's true. I was.

I hate school. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I want to start over new in the other school. But it's too late. Sure, my friends are in my classes, but I still hate it.

I'm no longer friends with her. I grew tired of her over dramaticness, and how mean she was to me. So I ended our friendship. It still hurts though.

There's more, but my parents are harrasing me again. And I'm not in a blog mood. *Shrugs*

-Jamie

I miss my friends.

Somehow I have managed to make the past three days fly by.

This week was my first week of school. I hate school. Sure all of my friends are on my team, but I guess that doesn't mean we'll have classes together.

My voice cracks every time a teacher asks me a question. Not because I'm scared or nervous. But because I no longer use my voice. I eat lunch alone. Well, not alone. With the boy who sexually harassed my best friend.

Fantastic.

Maybe it will just take some getting used to. Maybe I rely too heavily on my small circle of friends to get me through the day.

Or maybe I'm just super emotional lately.

I almost cried in English class on Friday. Why? Because we were learning about respect and my teacher said that she "Respects every child that walks through her door, because she knows that they are somebodies baby. Somebodies little boy or girl."

It occurred to me that I am no longer -- that I never was Carrie's little girl. That every kiss on the cheek. Every hug. Every mothers day card. Was a waste of my life.

I wasted my life on a woman who didn't even respect me. On a woman who did nothing but put me down day after day. And it makes me sick to think that I'm never going to get that time back. That every meaningful conversation that I have ever had with her. With anyone in her family was just a show.

And the worst part is that no one gets it. Yes. I hate her. Yes. I have been praying for the day that she would leave. For the day that my dad would finally catch on to the fact that she was having an affair. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me. That it doesn't bother me that I'm only going to see my sister 5 hours a week. I've been practically raising her since birth for Christs sake!

I was supposed to be the one who teaches her how to shave her legs. I was going to be the one to talk to her about boys. I was going to take her shopping for her prom dress and I was going to eat Ben & Jerry's and watch chick flicks with her when she has her first bad break up.

After all I'm the one who stripped the sheets of her bed and make her a pallet on the floor when she wet the bed. I'm the one who gave her band-aids for all her invisible boo-boos. I'm the one who taught her how to do a somersault and the one who taught her how to play all the good games.

And it's so frustrating to go from being the sister she called mom to the sister she sees once a week if she's lucky.

And then there are these questions that keep me up at night.

How did it happen? It seems like just yesterday we were vacationing in New York and everything seemed perfect. How can it be that after getting so close with my grandmother, she could just drop me like Carrie did? No call on my birthday. Christmas. You'd think that after spending 12 years together she'd care about me enough to at least call to say that she can't call me anymore.

Will my dad get remarried? What if she has kids? Where will they stay? Will we have to move again? Will I have to change schools? Will her kids be older then me? Will she accept me into her family? Will he finally get it right?

And worst of all...

What if he gets divorced again?

I know it's selfish, but I'm not ready for yet another mother figure. Two divorces is enough for me thank you very much.

I stayed the night over at Lauren's house on Friday and we started talking about religion. I'm not sure how we really got on the subject. I remember mentioning missionaries, but I'm not sure how we even got on that topic. I admit it. Sometimes I think about joining the peace corps. I would love to be able to help people like that. The idea of saving someones life or helping out a starving man fascinates me. But am I really that selfless? No. Of course not. I can't see myself putting my life on hold for others. I'd love too, but I'm far too selfish.

But anyway, we started talking about how the bible says to love your enemy. I, honestly, could never grasp the concept. If someone were to shoot a person close to me and I saw them on the street 20 years later, I wouldn't -- I couldn't go up to them and tell them that I forgive them and accept them for who they are.

It's possible that I'm just over thinking it though.

I realize now that maybe I've been suppressing some things. I think spending the night with Kailey helped some seeing as she is in a similar situation and she can empathize without sounding like she is clueless.

Anyway I suppose I should start on my book for my project. I went to the library today and they didn't have the book I wanted, so I just picked up a random book by Jodi Picoult without reading the cover. It turned out to be about a girl getting raped.

A real light read...not.

So needless to say I'm not doing my report on that. I probably won't even finish the book just because it's so depressing. Back to the drawing board. =/

And even though I have spent all weekend with friends I managed to avoid the one thing that I really need to talk to someone about.

Actually there is only one person who I think would truly understand. Of course she isn't online and I probably won't have the guts to bring it up anyway.

What was my point?

Blah.

_______

In response to Jamie:

I think we should just make a vow to post once a week. I really don't want to have a certain day.

-Emma

Okay, well, I felt like writing something, probably since I was on TweeterDeck and Hayley G was all like, "I'ma gonna write in that there blog soon", which is totally what Hayley says because she's from Jersey or something and that down South you know they're total hicks. You know what else is down South? Yeah. Take that.

So I'm a little nerved 'cause my book from Amazin' is going to be here either tomorrow or Tuesday most to the likely. It's called Jeff Herman's Guide to Coal and Gold Mining: How Getting Your Hand's Dirty Can Result in Good Clean Fun.

No it isn't.

It's called...err...long title let me go look it up for the exact one...Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors & Literary Agents. The 2009 edition. Which was published in late 2008. But no matter!

It was recommended to me by none other than Meg Cabot herself on her official website, so of course I, like Michael Buckley, had to have it. So it was ordered by my mother on Monday (my birthday) and should arrive, according to Amazon, in 7-10 days, though my mother says it usually takes less time than that.

I was thinking about, earlier, what I would do if it did get published and it made it somewhere. Whether it was the New York Times Bestseller List, Oprah's Fun-loving Bookity Book Club, or even just a shelve in my local Borders, like a senior that I knew who graduated this year and went off to a local, but private, college. I don't know if I want to spend my whole life being an author. Part of me wants to be something else. I want to major in liberal arts, not English, because English is so limited and with a liberal arts degree you can do pretty much anything. According to the Wikipedia...

The term liberal arts denotes a curriculum that imparts general knowledge and develops the student’s rational thought and intellectual capabilities[vague], unlike the professional, vocational, technical curricula emphasizing specialization. The contemporary liberal arts comprise studying art, literature, languages, philosophy, politics, history, mathematics, and science.

Doesn't that sound just plain interesting to you? I discovered it the other day and it sounds exactly like what I want to do. I like a variety of subjects in school, and I've wanted to be a million different things growing up. In second grade I read every book in my school's library about planets. The ones with the breathtakingly vivid pictures anyway. I wanted to be an astronomer. In third grade I loved Math and wanted a Math-type career, and I think it was a similar interest in fourth grade as well. In fifth grade, I don't know, I think I just wanted to be older, or be a famous pop celebrity. In sixth grade I'm pretty sure I wanted to be a movie critic. In seventh grade I was fascinated with politics and government,and after visiting Washington D.C. I was convinced I was going to work as an environmental lawyer and study environmental law.

But all through elementary and middle school, people used to tell me, and I'm not bragging here, that I was a great writer. In first grade my writing piece about hiking through the woods was broadcasted in the cafeteria in the television for all to see, and my story about not being able to fall asleep one night and seeing things scared quite a few of my classmates. It was written on report cards. It was praised openly by teachers. I read obsessively, drinking in words, though throughout third and fourth grade it was mostly "The Babysitter's Club" series, to such a point that my mother made me take out different books and instructed the librarians to not let me check out any more of them. I wrote my own script for when I hosted our school's academic showcase, twice, and was told that I had a natural stage presence.

And I tried being a writer. My first real attempt at a full length story was, and I regret not keeping it, a story about a girl named Katie, who upon entering middle school, lost her best friend Natalie to the popular crowd. It wasn't the best written story, nor the most original plotline ever invented, but I poured my heart into it for a few weeks before getting frustrated with the lack of flowing direction and deleted it from the email form that I was writing it in. Once I got my own computer I wrote on Wordpad or Open Office, similar stories about girls with simple, everyday problems. I even had a "blog" that was actually a girl keeping an actual, real written diary, similar to Amber's, except much less witty and way more about a girl she knew with anorexia. I deleted that blog. That was me. I deleted everything that I hated, every time a storyline went sour, every time a character fell flat. I never got far in these stories, with lack of word count I estimate that the lucky ones got to maybe 8,000 words before I lost the point of the novel.

To this day I scoff at girls on television or in movies who proclaim, "I want to become a writer!" I think, "Yeah, good luck with that career." Even people around me, this girl in my grade who wanted to be the next Sarah Dessen. The thing about the writing career is, to make it, you can't be the next Anyone. You have to make it on originality, concept, the words. I didn't want to be someone as lost in a sea of others as a writer, constantly having to prove myself again and again, never stable, never comfortable. I wanted a career that I would immediately be accepted in, a career that I could be good at and nothing else.

But I loved almost every subject in school, except maybe P.E. and Math sometimes, when I didn't like the teacher or the work was too this or too that. I loved learning a new language, I loved the planets and our solar system, I'm still fascinated with early history, the dark times, anywhere from anytime B.C. to like, 1600 A.D. I adore. I loved baking things in FCS and feeling like a housewife. I loved drawing, even though I stunk at it royally, in art. I hated Tech Ed, which was basically Wood Shop, because I don't think wood from our precious trees should be wasted in my incapable hands. I liked working on the computers. I loved culture, things, observing (not stalking) people and their activities, guessing who they were. When my parents occasionally took us places like Boston or when we drove to DC or NYC on the highway, I liked looking at people in their cars and wondering why they were driving, who they were driving for, what they did for work. They didn't notice, they were driving.

That's part of the reason why I loved New York City, it was this big, organized blob of people, places, food, stores and shops. Somehow the people generally harmonized, usually by ignoring each other almost completely, focused completely on themselves. Here in New Hampshire, people try to spark conversation with you when you clearly didn't want to. I liked New York because I wasn't expected to socialize while walking on the street or buying something. I was expected to do what needed to be done and carry on my way.

But I've gotten a little off topic.

Anyway, I've been praised, yes, for my academics. For Science, for Math, for Latin and French, for Social Studies, even for Art and FCS, and especially for my English. I don't know, maybe this blog was for my own benefit, because that Book is coming and maybe I'll become an author and share Amber with the world. Maybe I'll go to the New School in Greenwich or Barnard or Columbia or NYU (one of the surefire ways to make it in Manhattan is to go to school there). Maybe I'll stay in New Hampshire all my life and be a stay at home mom and go to UNH, most likely with my current classmates and major in something stupid and dead ended like Comparative Literature (oh God I hope not). Or maybe my life will take me somewhere else entirely. I just want to be somewhere, you know? Have a niche in society where I can say honestly that I belong, whether it's the Writer's Guild or the Environmental Protection Agency or somewhere in Something City. And these days I can't say that I'm too young to think about these things. I'm entering high school next week.

This blog was probably for my own benefit, but I liked writing it. Finally plotting down all these swirling thoughts in my head. And actually, my headache's gone away and I need to go to the bathroom, so I'm just going to post this.

- Jerrica
Future Something or Other