Right now, I am eating frosting-free Poptarts (Gelatin-free beyotches). I've been watching CommunityChannel for about two hours along with 5AG, WrockingGirl, Vlogbrothers, Frezned, PHVlogger (forgive me, this is probably not a legit username. I am tired.), and HayleyGHoover.

I am such a loser.

School has been going well. I made a fool out of myself in English because my teacher said, "I'm a bit of a fair-weather fan" and being who I am, I thought she meant Lauren Fairweather and I was very excited. Then very disappointed when I was given several "What the heck? Is this girl crazy?" looks. Hooray for awkward moments?

Nom nom nom...Poptarts.

CAUTION: The following paragraph contains graphic content involving my sick hydration habits.

Those of you who know me well are aware of what a lazy sloth I am. Instead of getting up to grab a glass of water, I am pretty much gagging myself in order to produce enough saliva to swallow this tasty treat of toaster goodness. I am so sick and twisted.

SPEAKING OF! I'd like to start a new feature-including-thing for my blogs on here. Called - My Psycho Neighbors: What Have They Done Now? Yush. I think I will. Starting now...

My Psycho Neighbors: What Have They Done Now?
Most of you know about my brief crush on the neighbor boy. Yes, the vampire one. Well that ship has sailed, because he needs to be committed into a crazy hut.
I was playing baseball with my little sister (because I am a good role model and you should worship me. *Shrines*) when I spot creepy-neighbor-kid (Shall we call him Larry? It fits his personality) out of the corner of my eye. I decide to ignore him. Then after letting him creepily spy on me for about 10 minutes I decided to say hi.

I walked over to him, dragging my sister with me. I said hi, he said hi. I introduced myself, he introduced himself. I was stunned by his beauty, he said "Is she drunk?" while staring at my sister who was hiding behind me trying to get me the heck away from him (She is so smart, why didn't I listen?).

(These are not exact quotes, because no one can remember dialogue that well, but they are pretty darn close.)

"Excuse me?" I said, slightly confused. She's four after all. Aren't all four-year-olds antisocial? Eh, maybe that's just normal for me.

"Is she drunk? Does she know what that means? Drunk? *PIG SNORT*" The crazy man replied

"Erm, no. She's four. We haven't exposed her to the world of alcohol yet." I stared at him stupidly, trying to comprehend the situation.

"Oh, she's weird. I have ADHD and so does my brother. No one else at my school does because they're stupid. Do you want to see my backyard? The other neighbors are being sued because their dog killed those *points* peoples dog. Our dog has to be chained up because she can jump the fence. Do you want to see her? The other neighbor *points* has a beer belly. You know what that is, right?"

My first thought was that this kid is an alcoholic waiting to happen. My second thought was, why not go to this weird, but really hot, guys backyard?

"Um, yeah, I know. And sure, I'd like to see your...yard." I paused. It was awkward and suggestive. I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. Jeez.

So we went into his backyard. I felt weird just standing there so I walked over to his dog and started petting it. That's when things got...bizarre.

His dog jumped on me. I am a dog person, so whatever. I'm used to it, but Larry wasn't having it. He yelled "STOP!!!!1!!!1!1!" and then ran over to the dog. I just stared at him.

Then he hit her. Hard. I winced and my hand involuntarily came up to slap Larry in the face for being so cruel. I should have, but I am nice.

"I hit her a lot harder usually. It makes my hands hurt. That's why I went so easy on her, cuz my hands hurt from last time."

I was mentally preparing a speech in my head about animal cruelty and how he is going to rot in hades, blah, blha, blah, I was planning to work in lots of Shakespearean insults when he did the unimaginable.

He kissed the dog on the lips.

He kissed her and he lifted up her ear and blew into it.

Then he laughed like a weirdo and whispered "turd" into its' ear. Then blew into it again.

He laughed.

Whispered turd.

Blew into its' ear.

Kissed it.

Over and over and over and over again. I was the witness to both an assault and a molestation of a dog. Crazy shazz man. Crazy shazz.

I managed to get home without becoming even more traumatized, but that memory will last FOREVER.


Poptarts. Nom nom nom.

Today was To Write Love On Her Arms day. I would explain it, but you can look it up yourself if you don't know. I am lazy, remember?

NaNoWriMo is going great. I love my plot. It's fantastic.

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world... (Why that just came in my head, I will never know)

I went Christmas shopping last weekend and got all of my "Santa" presents. Moccasins, Lock and Key ~ Sarah Dessen, New bedspread/curtains, pajamas, underwear, socks (Er, I ish lame), and some other stuff I already forgot about! Woo.

On that note -

Mozes- We need to talk, because I'm afraid that maybe your foot has been amputated and my father has to give me an answer my tomorrow about that thing. Yeah.

Jerrica- You and the Cracker are such a Disney couple. When I picture you two I see ball gowns and talking forest animals. Such perfect-ness.

Jamie- I feel even more pathetic about spending whole days on YouTube when I read about your inspirational church life. Like I should move, or do something. Psh. Like that's gonna happen.